Talking To Your Partner About Marriage Counseling

By Marissa Velazquez


The tougher circumstances of life today has taken its toll on many marriages. The ups and downs of modern life, along with the high rate of unemployment, have put relationships under strain. If you are concerned for the longevity of your relationship, then something needs to be done as soon as possible. More and more people are finding that marriage counseling is helping to put the pieces back into place.

It is not always the case when both persons agree to go for outside assistance. There could be a number of reasons why someone may be hesitant, even if they know that it could help. When you have to discuss going to a counselor with your spouse, it is best if it is done in a certain way, so that the most beneficial outcome can be achieved.

Make sure that you bring up the topic when you are both feeling relaxed, and when there is no one else around. It is a private matter between the two of you and it should not be discussed with anyone else. Try to talk when you know that your partner is not overly stressed from work or other matters, so that it can be a conversation rather than an argument. Talk about it in a positive way, and in a way that your partner won't feel as if he or she is going to be negatively viewed.

A counselor will see either a couple or just one person, therefore, if your spouse refuses to go then you can still attend the sessions. However, it will be best if you are both present. If you are forced to go on your own, stay committed, and see if you can learn some ways of helping the relationship. Your partner may change his mind in time.

It is wonderful if you can come to an agreement to start seeing a counselor. It will surely be a step in the right direction. To help the process along, you can do a few things before your first session, or during the time you are visiting the counselor. It is helpful to be clear upon the goals you would like to achieve, therefore, write down what you and your spouse hope to gain from the sessions.

Besides your goals, think of all the things that effect your relationship in a negative way. Make a note of them. Once they are written down, you will be able to see more clearly which things need attention.

Although you are noting the negative aspects, start to work on the positive side of things as well. Write down everything you like about your partner and the relationship, and try to develop a more positive attitude. Both partners should make their own lists, and they can be shared.

Many couples can benefit from marriage counseling, not only those who are thinking of getting a divorce. Couples who have been under strain from substance abuse or the loss of a child can benefit, and just-married couples can enjoy learning some good communications skills. Try to choose a counselor who is professional and who has credentials.




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