Willpower is the ability to do something even when it feels like work. In order to use your willpower effectively, you need to understand that it can be used up. This results in your willpower to seemingly fluctuate, so that on some days, you're sensible about food, have that internal debate about the gym, but still go, and you sit down to your home projects with only a small glance at the television and one quick email check. Yet the next day, your willpower appears to not only have deserted you, but taken normal decency with it. On the way home from work, the thought of trying to make it to your house before eating seems impossible, so you stop on the way. The muffin you buy disappears in a puff of icing sugar. You start the usual fight with yourself about the gym but suddenly realise you're just not going to win, and so flop down in front of the TV and the rest of the night is (oh so forgettable) history.
So what happened? Where was the willpower you had the day before? These are the times when you have stretched, strained, used, drained, soaked up, dried up and generally bailed out your willpower. The saddest thing is that you probably didn't even spend it on anything good. So let us look at where willpower can go, and how we can plug up these holes to maintain a steady stream of it throughout the day.
There are three big willpower destroyers: Hunger - Sleep Deprivation - Stress
Hunger
How many times have you been told to stay away from shopping when you're hungry? It's based on our complete inability to resist every bad food that leaps into the trolley, because hunger kills willpower If you rationalised it you would realise that if you ate that, and that, and the other thing in there right now, all at this moment, you would explode. But all you can here is your stomach, and your brain is curled in a corner, hugging said stomach, "Moaaare! More food!"
Of course, food cravings are obvious, as they are directly related to your hunger. However, it also takes away your willpower to do other things as well. It affects your concentration, your mood and your general ability to think on anything else that isn't food. Mothers know when a baby is hungry, because they start getting fussy and throwing temper tantrums. Well, your inner child still reacts the same way.
If you have plenty of sleep and are not stressed, you might be able to battle through hunger. If you're planning on going on any severe diet, do everything you can to keep the other two Willpower Destroyers satiated. However, why make things more difficult for yourself than you have to? Make sure you eat sensible meals at regular times. Before you sit down to work, have a small but nutritious snack so your hunger will curl up and go to sleep, leaving you in peace for a while.
Sleep Deprivation
Someone has surely told you that you need more sleep by now; it's in so many magazines and self-help books. I understand that the amount of sleep people require is very individual, and there are some people out there who really only need four hours, but they live healthy lives on those four hours. For the rest of us, we generally need around eight hours of good quality sleep, sometimes more in winter or at different times in our personal mood cycle.
The quality of sleep is important too. Good quality sleep cannot be overestimated. If you only do one thing to reenergise your creativity, joy and peace with life, look first to your sleeping habits. If you've had broken sleep for many years, you might think it is normal, but it's definitely worth taking the time and effort to improve it. You owe it to yourself, so think of this as part of your job requirement: get better sleep.
However, sad news for those who were leaning over to tell their partner not to wake them before midday: it's the hours before midnight that are the most effective. Some people do appear to work well after midnight, but check: are you waking up after eight hours of sleep feeling refreshed? If not, it might be more accurate that you've messed up your natural circadian rhythms, rather than that you have a true affiliation with owls. However, if you have a system that is working for you, or you have to have odd hours for work, don't let me interfere. I only offer food for thought.
Simple Steps For Better Sleep Hygiene
There are so many ways to improve sleep, and many focus on 'sleep hygiene'. Sleep hygiene instigates and maintains good sleep habits, and replaces bad habits which cause common sleeping problems. So, it is time to start retraining yourself to get the most out of a night's shut-eye.
Here are five practical tips you can put into practice immediately, and build into good habits (more can be found in my book "The Five Day Writer's Retreat").
1. Train your body clock. Your body likes consistency over a 24 hour period, and it's really good at getting into habits if you'll let it. So do yourself a favour and always try to go to bed at the same time and get up around the same time. Your body will get used to unwinding in time and will be ready to sleep when you are.
2. Upgrade your mattress. Considering we spend a third of our lives in bed, it is amazing how little time people spend on choosing the right mattress for them. If you constantly wake up with slight aches and pains, or feel you need to crick your neck every time you get out of bed, you should think about investing time and a bit of money into finding a better mattress.
3. Cut off the light. When you go out into the country, one of the first things you notice is how extremely dark it is at night. There is a reason you can't see the stars as well in any built up area. This light can affect the quality of your sleep. Make sure you pull the blinds shut and don't have any blinking lights in your room. An easy way to do this, if viable, is to make your bedroom an electronics-free room, except for an alarm clock with a light you can't see. You don't really need to know the time, that's what the alarm is for!
4. Sleep ritual. I'm a big believer in ritual, that is, instilling everyday actions with significance and using them as a marker of time. It is a great way to train your body to perform on cue. A regular bedtime ritual will help you to drift off peacefully and without much trouble. Things to focus on are the preparation of the body for sleep and then the mind. I was never one for nighttime showers, but they are starting to win me over. Slipping into bed all clean and warm is a fantastic thing. I recently read an article that also highly recommended that you give yourself a quick foot bath before you go to bed, to heat them up and reduce the aches of a long day. I haven't implemented this yet, but it sounds like good advice. Drinking warm milk can be comforting, and will stop you waking up in the night hungry (or does this only happen to me and in movies?). Following the same ritual each night will definitely help you get better sleep. The one drawback is that when you can't follow your ritual, it might be harder to get to sleep.
5. Stimulants. Are you one of those people who believes stimulants don't affect you? Or, on the other hand, do you feel you need a glass of wine or a beer to help you relax at night? I'm not going to dictate to you about these matters - just know that I have my skeptical face on. You might have trained yourself to need these things. However, in a perfectly normal, urban way, I believe that trying to stay as natural as possible in the end allows your body to run along its normal lines. Yes, it might take a few weeks to 'detox', but you are on a retreat, so obviously you want to make some changes. Now is the best time to take action.
Stress
Willpower killer number three: stress. We know that a little bit of stress can be a wonderful thing; it gives you that kick of energy before a deadline, it is what helps your fitness improve when you run, and kicks in your body's natural self-preservation instincts. However, on-going or high levels of stress are bad for so many reasons. And the worst thing is that we tend to encourage it in our lives, mistaking it for the benefit of good stress.
Reducing Stress
List what currently stresses you, from the big stressors to the little niggles. If the task seems difficult, put them under these headings: Work, Relationships, Home Environment, Personal, Finance. Try to be as specific as you can, narrowing it down to individuals or particular things. Defining a problem is a large part of overcoming it.
For example, under Work you might list: 'Dealing with client X makes me dread Tuesdays', or 'The way my computer keeps crashing and IT won't fix it.'
Relationships: Something like, 'The expectations of my family' is too general. Instead try: 'How my mother subtly hints on the phone each time we talk about whether I have a new man in my life.'
Home Environment: Even little things can make a difference, such 'I don't have anywhere to store the vacuum cleaner without everyone tripping over it.'
Personal: These are attitudes and thoughts that bring you stress, such as 'I committed to writing 200 words a day and haven't done anything', or 'My weight is slowly creeping further up and soon I'm going to be a balloon.'
Finance: Credit card debt can be an ongoing source of low-grade stress, as can a silent fight with a housemate over who should pay the excess on the phone bill, since neither of you made those calls!
List as many stressors as you can, then divide them into three types of stress: things you can do something about Now, things you should be able to change in the Future and things that Can't be changed. Then list them by how much they irritate you.
Deliberately work through the things you can change now and get rid of as many stressors as you can. Every month or so, update the list and keep working on it. Reducing stress in your life is one of the most effective ways you can increase your general happiness and productivity, so don't just let it slide!
So what happened? Where was the willpower you had the day before? These are the times when you have stretched, strained, used, drained, soaked up, dried up and generally bailed out your willpower. The saddest thing is that you probably didn't even spend it on anything good. So let us look at where willpower can go, and how we can plug up these holes to maintain a steady stream of it throughout the day.
There are three big willpower destroyers: Hunger - Sleep Deprivation - Stress
Hunger
How many times have you been told to stay away from shopping when you're hungry? It's based on our complete inability to resist every bad food that leaps into the trolley, because hunger kills willpower If you rationalised it you would realise that if you ate that, and that, and the other thing in there right now, all at this moment, you would explode. But all you can here is your stomach, and your brain is curled in a corner, hugging said stomach, "Moaaare! More food!"
Of course, food cravings are obvious, as they are directly related to your hunger. However, it also takes away your willpower to do other things as well. It affects your concentration, your mood and your general ability to think on anything else that isn't food. Mothers know when a baby is hungry, because they start getting fussy and throwing temper tantrums. Well, your inner child still reacts the same way.
If you have plenty of sleep and are not stressed, you might be able to battle through hunger. If you're planning on going on any severe diet, do everything you can to keep the other two Willpower Destroyers satiated. However, why make things more difficult for yourself than you have to? Make sure you eat sensible meals at regular times. Before you sit down to work, have a small but nutritious snack so your hunger will curl up and go to sleep, leaving you in peace for a while.
Sleep Deprivation
Someone has surely told you that you need more sleep by now; it's in so many magazines and self-help books. I understand that the amount of sleep people require is very individual, and there are some people out there who really only need four hours, but they live healthy lives on those four hours. For the rest of us, we generally need around eight hours of good quality sleep, sometimes more in winter or at different times in our personal mood cycle.
The quality of sleep is important too. Good quality sleep cannot be overestimated. If you only do one thing to reenergise your creativity, joy and peace with life, look first to your sleeping habits. If you've had broken sleep for many years, you might think it is normal, but it's definitely worth taking the time and effort to improve it. You owe it to yourself, so think of this as part of your job requirement: get better sleep.
However, sad news for those who were leaning over to tell their partner not to wake them before midday: it's the hours before midnight that are the most effective. Some people do appear to work well after midnight, but check: are you waking up after eight hours of sleep feeling refreshed? If not, it might be more accurate that you've messed up your natural circadian rhythms, rather than that you have a true affiliation with owls. However, if you have a system that is working for you, or you have to have odd hours for work, don't let me interfere. I only offer food for thought.
Simple Steps For Better Sleep Hygiene
There are so many ways to improve sleep, and many focus on 'sleep hygiene'. Sleep hygiene instigates and maintains good sleep habits, and replaces bad habits which cause common sleeping problems. So, it is time to start retraining yourself to get the most out of a night's shut-eye.
Here are five practical tips you can put into practice immediately, and build into good habits (more can be found in my book "The Five Day Writer's Retreat").
1. Train your body clock. Your body likes consistency over a 24 hour period, and it's really good at getting into habits if you'll let it. So do yourself a favour and always try to go to bed at the same time and get up around the same time. Your body will get used to unwinding in time and will be ready to sleep when you are.
2. Upgrade your mattress. Considering we spend a third of our lives in bed, it is amazing how little time people spend on choosing the right mattress for them. If you constantly wake up with slight aches and pains, or feel you need to crick your neck every time you get out of bed, you should think about investing time and a bit of money into finding a better mattress.
3. Cut off the light. When you go out into the country, one of the first things you notice is how extremely dark it is at night. There is a reason you can't see the stars as well in any built up area. This light can affect the quality of your sleep. Make sure you pull the blinds shut and don't have any blinking lights in your room. An easy way to do this, if viable, is to make your bedroom an electronics-free room, except for an alarm clock with a light you can't see. You don't really need to know the time, that's what the alarm is for!
4. Sleep ritual. I'm a big believer in ritual, that is, instilling everyday actions with significance and using them as a marker of time. It is a great way to train your body to perform on cue. A regular bedtime ritual will help you to drift off peacefully and without much trouble. Things to focus on are the preparation of the body for sleep and then the mind. I was never one for nighttime showers, but they are starting to win me over. Slipping into bed all clean and warm is a fantastic thing. I recently read an article that also highly recommended that you give yourself a quick foot bath before you go to bed, to heat them up and reduce the aches of a long day. I haven't implemented this yet, but it sounds like good advice. Drinking warm milk can be comforting, and will stop you waking up in the night hungry (or does this only happen to me and in movies?). Following the same ritual each night will definitely help you get better sleep. The one drawback is that when you can't follow your ritual, it might be harder to get to sleep.
5. Stimulants. Are you one of those people who believes stimulants don't affect you? Or, on the other hand, do you feel you need a glass of wine or a beer to help you relax at night? I'm not going to dictate to you about these matters - just know that I have my skeptical face on. You might have trained yourself to need these things. However, in a perfectly normal, urban way, I believe that trying to stay as natural as possible in the end allows your body to run along its normal lines. Yes, it might take a few weeks to 'detox', but you are on a retreat, so obviously you want to make some changes. Now is the best time to take action.
Stress
Willpower killer number three: stress. We know that a little bit of stress can be a wonderful thing; it gives you that kick of energy before a deadline, it is what helps your fitness improve when you run, and kicks in your body's natural self-preservation instincts. However, on-going or high levels of stress are bad for so many reasons. And the worst thing is that we tend to encourage it in our lives, mistaking it for the benefit of good stress.
Reducing Stress
List what currently stresses you, from the big stressors to the little niggles. If the task seems difficult, put them under these headings: Work, Relationships, Home Environment, Personal, Finance. Try to be as specific as you can, narrowing it down to individuals or particular things. Defining a problem is a large part of overcoming it.
For example, under Work you might list: 'Dealing with client X makes me dread Tuesdays', or 'The way my computer keeps crashing and IT won't fix it.'
Relationships: Something like, 'The expectations of my family' is too general. Instead try: 'How my mother subtly hints on the phone each time we talk about whether I have a new man in my life.'
Home Environment: Even little things can make a difference, such 'I don't have anywhere to store the vacuum cleaner without everyone tripping over it.'
Personal: These are attitudes and thoughts that bring you stress, such as 'I committed to writing 200 words a day and haven't done anything', or 'My weight is slowly creeping further up and soon I'm going to be a balloon.'
Finance: Credit card debt can be an ongoing source of low-grade stress, as can a silent fight with a housemate over who should pay the excess on the phone bill, since neither of you made those calls!
List as many stressors as you can, then divide them into three types of stress: things you can do something about Now, things you should be able to change in the Future and things that Can't be changed. Then list them by how much they irritate you.
Deliberately work through the things you can change now and get rid of as many stressors as you can. Every month or so, update the list and keep working on it. Reducing stress in your life is one of the most effective ways you can increase your general happiness and productivity, so don't just let it slide!
About the Author:
This is an excerpt from Buffy Greentree's book 'The Five Day Writer's Retreat', available now on Amazon. Five_day_Writer_Retreat
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